I’ll always be with you…

On Sunday, July 31st my precious mother-in-law left our physical world.  I’m mad and sad. We thought we had “five years” and we only got three months with her after she was diagnosed with cancer at the end of April.  I’m sad that I’ll never get a random care package with a pair of earrings that I pinned on Pinterest from Terri again.  I’m so, so sad that Granny and Pawpaw (Big Guy’s grandparents) have now lost two children and his aunt has lost both siblings – it’s not fair, I scream.  I’m sad that I’ll never hear her say “Good morning, sweet heart” to me when we’re at the beach.  I’m mad that she never got to see Big Guy be a daddy.

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And while the list goes on and on of why I’m sad and mad and confused, I can’t focus on the negative feelings.  Today and tomorrow will be tough enough.

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So instead I want to carry her with me.  She will be on every trip with me – regardless of how close or far it is from home.  Oh, how we loved to talk about our upcoming “adventures.”  I’ll never make a trip to the beach again without dipping my toes in the sand or feeling the ocean breeze blow against my face.  I will continue blogging because she read every.single. post that I wrote.  I will never miss an opportunity to visit family – she didn’t go a month without seeing her parents.  I will love Big Guy with something fierce because he was her world and while some mother-in-laws might not like their son being “taken away” she loved me like a daughter and never made me feel unwelcome in the family.

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Oh, she will be missed.  But I know that she will show up randomly throughout our lives reminding us of her sweet spirit, her spunkiness and her joy for life.

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“If ever there is a tomorrow when we’re not together, there is something you must always remember.  You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.  But the most important thing is even if we’re apart, I’ll always be with you.” – Winnie the Pooh

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6 thoughts on “I’ll always be with you…

  1. Oh Emily, how hard this post must have been to write. But I totally agree that Terri would most certainly still want you to keep blogging, as she was always one of the first comments on your posts! She will be so happy that you and Big Guy will continue to live your lives and go on all of the fun and fabulous trips you have planned with her sweet spirit right alongside you! Lots of love to you all!

  2. Emily, I’m at a loss for words. Because you just expressed my feelings so well. Beautiful thoughts from a wonderful daughter. Winnie the Pooh, if you didn’t already know, was one of favorite characters in literature.

  3. Emily, surely Terri left this earth with so much peace knowing that she was leaving her son with you. You are a force of strength and generosity and love and it shines through in this post. We love you guys and we’re always here for you.

  4. Such a beautiful post Emily. So sorry for the devastating loss of Chris’s mom. Keeping your family in my prayers, sweet girl.

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